Nature Has a Way of Being Right
by holygoof101
Summary: First he showed up in her yard drunk. Now he's got a hangover and a question he can't answer and he's not sure where they're going. Drabble follow up to the drabble The Past is Gone but Something Might Be Found.


A/N: If you haven't read The Past is Gone but Something Might be Found go do that or this won't make much sense. When one is out of original ideas they just continue on with ideas they've written before even if the follow up and the original are crap. But this follow up was written (mostly) to You and I by The Kin.

"Why did you leave New York?"

The question seems so simple but...

It's like 5 in the morning and they're driving. The suns not even up and he's pretty sure he's not even completely sober. No... He's not pretty sure, he's completely certain he's still a little drunk. And that's probably a good thing because that means the street lights that haven't gone out yet aren't blinding his eyes. And it means that driving through downtown Lima at crap o clock in the morning isn't making him sick. Water and aspirin are no match for sleeping it off. Which is what he would be doing if Rachel hadn't woke him up and made him get in the car before the ass crack of dawn. At first when she woke up he didn't know where he was because alcohol will do that to you. Then once the event of the night before started to piece themselves together he figured she was just going to drive him to his place before her dads woke up. Then he watched as she passed his place. Then he watched as she drove passed the tire shop, and the local bar where his truck was still parked. He kept watching to see where she was going until he didn't have clue where she was going.

So he just kept his mouth shut, and allowed them to go where ever they were going in silence because silence didn't echo in his head like someone was beating on a steel drum. At least that was his plan...

She's singing along with the radio when she stops at the red light and gives him that look. It's that look that only she's ever been allowed to give him. That look like she's going to ask a question and she expects him to have an answer even if he doesn't have any answer at all. So he knows he's got all of .25 seconds to rid himself of the slight buzz he's still got and be prepared to answer some super difficult question. Then she asks it...

"Why did you leave New York?"

He's pieced together the night before enough to know, it's like a counter to the question he asked her. Except he was drunk so he had an excuse to ask really hard questions with very grey answers. She is sober and driving him out of Lima, and she has to know he's still a little drunk so it's really not fair for her to ask him a question like that. Unless she's trying to take advantage of his little buzz, which knowing Rachel and the way she takes any opportunity she can get is probably the case. No, not probably, it's totally the case.

He's got a million answers for this question. He spent his entire drive leaving New York preparing for this question, so it's not like he doesn't have an answer. He never thought up an answer to give her. So all the other answers they're all jumbling together in his mind and confusing him. And he really can't speak right now because it's Rachel and she wasn't supposed to ask him this question. She should just know because she's Rachel and she always knows. And he knows that she knows his answer, so he's not going to untie his tongue and speak, he's just going to let her know the answer. And while she sits in the driver's seat singing along to some 90s pop rock band, he's going to focus on trying to figure out where the hell she's taking him because Lima is fading in the distance so she's already passed any spot in Ohio that might mean something to them.

It takes a minute but once she puts the car in park he quickly figures out they're out at the lake. It's really not a place they came very often, he can count the times they've been here on one hand but that doesn't mean the times don't count. Every moment with Rachel counts, he's logging this moment in his head so in a few years it'll still count, or at least to him it'll still count. Because he's starting to realize that maybe the reason he can't come up with an answer to give her is because giving her an answer might be giving her closure. Closure was something they never really got and the lack of it has been allowing him to live in the what if. And he's not sure he's ready to give up the what if yet. Because giving up the what if means he has to accept the fate he made for himself. And that fate kind of sucks because he's not with Rachel and he's exactly where he didn't want to end up. So he's not going to answer because he's not sure he can make himself fully accept it.

Instead he's going to silently follow her out of the car and to the edge of the lake and he's just going to wait for her to talk again because she's Rachel and God knows she's the talker between the two of them. He's just hoping she doesn't want to keep talking about why he left New York. And so far so good because she's not really talking at all. Which kinda makes him a little uncomfortable because if she's not talking then he's pretty sure she's busy coming up with what she's going to say and that might not be a good thing for him. It doesn't matter though because he's still not going to be the first one to talk here.

"It was real." She finally speaks but it's in this quiet voice like she doesn't want him to hear her. Except she could be mouthing words and he'd still hear her. "We gave into what everyone said. We let everyone tell us we were too young, and that it was just a puppy love. But what we had it was real. I knew that. I've always known that. And I thought you did too. Until you left. Until you left like it wasn't. Three years I've waited for you to realize you made a mistake. Three years I've waited and then you show up drunk asking me why we didn't get married like it was my fault."

He can feel his mouth drop open at her words and he wants to talk but he can't. He can't speak because her words they're sobering and they hurt. They hurt because he thought she'd know better than that. He thought he'd managed to prove to her years ago that he knew what they had was real. And the fact that she seems to think he didn't well that hurts.

"What we had was real." He's going into defense mode here because she should know that he knows that. That he believes in that statement. That what they had was real, the most real thing he's ever felt. "I didn't leave because we weren't real. I just... I didn't feel like I could make it. I felt like the small fish in the big pond and I wasn't going to drag you down with me."

"And it's never occurred to you that I felt that way too? Because I did and you were supposed to be there to support me through it, the same way I would have supported you through it if you'd just let me in to know. But instead you just left and you fell into what everyone thought you should be. And even though I was hundreds of miles away it felt like high school all over again. Like you couldn't be with me because it wasn't the way things were supposed to go for you."

"But you knew better." He can see it on her face. It's like she's always known him better than knows himself. And he can see it on her face right now. He can't help but feel like she knew it all. Like maybe she is a little psychic, and maybe she saw him showing up before it happened and them having this conversation because it sure as hell feels like she has all the answers and he just has none. "You knew better and you didn't try stopping me."

"I had tried to hold you hostage before. On more than one occasion. It was just time to let things run their course and hope..."

He lets out a bittersweet laugh at her words. He's spent the last three years wishing. Wishing that they won't have let people talk them out of getting married. Wishing that he hadn't left. Wishing that she would have stopped him from leaving New York. He's been wishing and she's been hoping. It all seems pretty ridiculous. It all seems pretty crazy. It all seems a little stupid and it just kinda shows that three years ago they were just still kids. But they were kids that knew what they wanted. They were kids that shouldn't have listened. And maybe... Maybe they were kids that were right. He reaches out and grazes his hand against hers before trailing it up her arm and finally reaching her face to turn it in his direction. "Is it too late? Because it's still real. You and me. It's still real or we wouldn't be having this conversation. This isn't a closure conversation." In fact the unspoken between them is the farthest thing from closure. It feels like shock waves running through his body and sparks igniting him. Like lightening should strike around them at any minute. He's not sure who moved in but he can feel her breath, and he can feel his lips grazing hers as he speaks. And then there on hers. He's kissing her and it's like nothing matters. It's like his whole world has just been ignited again. When they break she rests her head against his chest and let's out this sigh he's hasn't heard in years that he's missed so much.

"It's a new day," she whispers as he watches her eyes close and her body move closer to his, molding and conforming against him until there's nothing but comfort. Her word they're a metaphor and he actually gets it. It's not an answer. Maybe they don't need answers because all the stuff they need answers for is in the past. It's all a part of yesterday and today well... It's a new day.


End file.
